9/30/2023 Community Meeting - Values check-in

Click here for Israel J’s beautiful event photos

We kicked off the community meeting with a screening of The Tango Challenge, a short documentary directed by Sachin Mehta and shot/edited by Tamas Harangi. There were warm feels all around. Click the title to watch it on Youtube. Thank you Sachin and Tamas!

Next we moved outside for a group discussion on Oxygen’s Core Values document. Magan gave a brief history of how the document came to be, and asked people to break into small groups to check in on each of the values (Connection, Belonging, Accountability) by asking the following questions:

What are some examples of when we see/feel/hear this value in action at Oxygen?

What are some examples of when we see/feel/hear the opposite of this value at Oxygen?

What are some ways we can further practice this value?

Each group then reported back the major discussion points - below is my attempt to summarize, but if I’m missing something or misstating something, please get in touch with me! I also invite folks to submit their thoughts about these topics in writing by emailing me or Dave, or anonymously via the Oxygen online comment box.

Connection

The Connection group started off their group summary with a real-life invitation to connect. There is apparently a Whats App thread, code name Tango Barbies, in which Oxygen people make tango plans. Email Caroline mamadrum@gmail.com to be added to the thread!

There was unanimous consensus that talking in small groups is fun and nice so we should do it more. Please save the date Saturday Nov 11th 5-6:30 for a community meeting in which we’ll *talk in small groups* about some of the ideas that came up in the first meeting. Super casual, don’t need to bring anything, light snacks provided

A few examples of disconnection observed in the Oxygen community were shared. Unsolicited advice continues to be a common one. We also talked about how unsolicited advice can sometimes be one person just training the other to dance how they like. Lastly we discussed embrace - who sets the closeness of embrace? There are some folks who prefer open, but feel some people expect them to dance in close embrace and they aren’t sure how to communicate their preference; checking in at the top of the tanda might be too fast. 

There were several folks who felt enthusiastic consent vs enthusiastic rejection - how can we empower people to say no? Some verbiage examples might be useful.

We talked a little about how Thursdays feel different from other Oxygen events. We’re unsure if it’s because it’s a milonga and thus more formal (and more competitive/less egalitarian); or if it’s because many folks in attendance may not be aware of or less invested in Oxygen community values. Is there a way we can change this? It was noted that the DJ desk can sometimes become a cool-kids table, and there seems to be a disconnect between experience levels & cabeceo - experienced dancers want to dance with new dancers but feel they aren’t able to via cabaceo. Newer dancers aren’t getting on the floor as much as they like and are also still figuring out cabeceo. 

Belonging

We heard that the sliding scale is very helpful and is working in terms of including folks with fewer financial resources. We discussed briefly about what kinds of identities are still underrepresented or missing in the Oxygen community - a few we observed are Black people, Hispanic people, folks with disabilities, folks with larger bodies. We talked a little bit about how some identities aren’t always obvious from the outside

Some questions that need further exploring:

What does it mean to spotlight & center each other?

What does it mean to be actively anti-racist?

Accountability

In terms of the ’disturbing behaviors list’ in this section of the document - we’re not seeing these *as written*. But is this written in a way that encompasses subtler kinds of exclusionary behaviors? When that is the majority of how exclusionary behavior is happening - we may want to consider the specific examples we chose to detail in the values doc.

What are our norms around close embrace? Some people feel expected to dance in close embrace and don’t always want to. Who sets the boundary?

We agreed that having a values document is helpful - having our intentions for the space codified & written down is a helpful reference point & framework for both experienced & new people. 

When we address behavior that causes disconnection, people frequently leave. Is there a way to improve this process so we retain more people?